October 25, 2005

A Virtual Interview with President Bush

(President Bush's answers are all documented public statements that he has made over the years as president. We didn't make them up. Honest.)

SLIME: "What do you say to the many Americans who remain concerned about Osama bin Laden and Al-Qaeda, and another terrorist attack?

BUSH: "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." * . . . "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." * *

*    September 13, 2001
* *  March 18, 2002

SLIME: "What would you say to an American citizen who is generally opposed to your foreign policy and against the war in Iraq?

BUSH: "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."

SLIME: "The AMA (American Medical Association) has lobbied hard for laws that limit liability in medical mal-practice suites. Do you support such legislation?

BUSH: "Too many OBGYNs are unable to practice their love for women all over this country."

SLIME: "FEMA has received a lot of criticism for its failure to respond adequately to the Hurricane Katrina disaster. What do you think of the job FEMA head Mike Brown was doing before he was forced to resign?

BUSH: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job. . . It was not a normal hurricane."

SLIME: What is the military situation in Iraq, and when will the war be over?

BUSH: "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." * . . . "Coalition forces have encountered serious violence in some areas of Iraq. Our military commanders report that this violence is being instigated by three groups . . . Our work may become more difficult before it is finished. No one can predict all the hazards that lie ahead, or the costs they will bring." * *

*    May 1, 2003
* * April 13, 2004

SLIME: If you could speak to the Iraq people right now, what would you tell them?

BUSH: "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order . . . order out of chaos. But we will."

SLIME: "Are you hurt at all by the persistant chatter from Jay Leno and your political opponents suggesting that you are severely mentally challenged?

BUSH: "The liberal media and many of the pundits said I was stupid . . . They misunderestimated me."