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Canadian Pol Calls
Bush "a Moron"

Chief spokeswoman for Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien blasts president. White House refuses comment.

By Gilbert Trottier

Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien has rejected an offer by his chief spokeswoman to resign after being quoted as calling President George W. Bush a moron.

"She has great affection for morons . . ."
Francoise Ducros reportedly made the remarks during this week's NATO summit in Prague. PM Chretien downplayed the incident, telling reporters that nobody in the U.S. delegation made reference to the comments during several meetings this week at the summit.

"He is a friend of mine, he is not a moron at all."

Chretien maintained that Ducros, who is a former practicing psychologist who worked with the mentally handicapped, uses the word "moron" regularly. "She meant no harm, and assures me she has great affection for the many morons she has encountered therapeutically over the years."

Cheney Calms Bush?
Asked by reporters what was his opinion of the president, Chretien said, "He is a friend of mine, he is not a moron at all." Meanwhile, the White House refused official comment, and denied rumors that Mr. Bush was so upset he tried to order a nuclear strike on Montreal, but misspoke and in error ordered an attack on Monserat. (As of this writing, all communications with Monserat were still down.)

The White House denied rumors that Mr. Bush was so upset he tried to order a nuclear strike on Montreal.

An unidentified spokesperson also denied reports that Cheney had to be called to calm the president and stop the attack. "There is no truth to reports that the vice president interceded to halt either a nuclear or conventional attack on Canada. However, the president is keeping his options open. Right now he is more concerned about Saddam Hussein."

No Harm Intended
In an apparent effort to sooth tensions, Chretien produced a clinical chart (right) prepared by Ducros which placed her remarks in a clinical context. She earlier had explained to a group of British journalists that terms like "moron" and "imbecile" have scientific meanings, and "were not intended to be used to insult people or cause pain."   


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